Most Canadian Heist Ever: Edmonton Man Robs A Bank With Machete, Flees On Snowmobile
CTV News - Police are searching for a man who robbed a bank in Alix, Alberta on Friday morning and fled the scene on a snowmobile.
At 11:15 a.m., RCMP was called to the ATB Financial after a man wearing a mask and gloves and carrying a long barrelled gun and a machete. He demanded cash, and left with an undisclosed amount.
No employees were injured in the robbery. The snowmobile was last seen on Alix Lake.
I know the report says the man had a gun on him but you know there was never any chance he was actually going to use it. He probably uses that gun for hunting and hunting only. He was never going to waste any bullets on a bank robbery when there are still so many moose out there. And as far as the knife goes, I wouldn't be too surprised to find out if it wasn't actually a machete this man was wielding but just a dull hockey skate blade that the bank employees called a machete so they seemed tougher.
Now I'm sure that most people here think that the snowmobile is the star of the show here for this story. And yes, hopping on a Ski-Doo as your getaway vehicle is obviously extra Canadian. But the sneaky best part of all? The fact that this robbery went down at 11:15am. Because now you know exactly how this day went down for our Great White North John Dillinger. Buddy probably had a long night on Thursday just slamming back about a zillion Molsons. So he got a little slow start on Friday morning. Probably hit the snooze button for the first time at 10. Rolled out of bed sometime around 10:30. Hit up his local Tim Horton's for a large double double and a maple dip donut around 10:50. Rolled up to the bank around 11:10. Ripped a quick dart to calm his nerves, stole some loonies from the bank which will be his drinking money for the rest of the week, left a sorrey note at the counter, hopped back on the Ski-Doo and was back at the bar by noon. Honestly sounds like the best day ever.